Porn, Christ, and You

 Hey, so this week I had to write a paper for my psych class, hope you enjoy: 

In the following paper, one will see the psychological and emotional effects of pornography on young adult males. Through the analysis of articles written in the study of this subject, facts and evidence will be given to prove the findings of this research.

As one looks into this issue, they must first understand who, and how many participate in the action of observing pornographic material; studies have shown that 87% of young adult males have used pornography to some degree, and for woman, 31%. Of that 87% of young men, 67% see nothing wrong with this behavior, thinking it is acceptable and it has no ramifications. Also making this claim is 49% of women, along with 37% of fathers, and 20% of mothers (Nelson, 2010). However, research has been done to see for certain if interaction with pornography does cause any negative, or dangerous effects to ones emotional, and psychological being.

Over the years studies have shown, opposite of some certain beliefs, that usage of pornography can bring on emotional and psychological problems. Excessive use of pornography can cause; vocational issues, family dysfunction, legal consequences, interpersonal isolation and psychological distress (Grubbs, 2015). Other studies have shown similar results such as; sexual dysfunction, relationship dissatisfaction, religious and spiritual concerns, increased negative emotions, aggressive behavior, and sexual deviancy (Levin, 2012). This evidence clearly shows that although the 67%, 49%, 37% and 20% of men, woman, fathers and mothers believe that it is appropriate and helpful, that is clearly can be damaging to an individual.

Most of this research found however, that these results are mainly due to an addictive behavior, seen in participation beyond 11 hours a week. When the behavior excels beyond just casual usage, to excessive use is likely to end in some damaging effects. In a survey done of 9,265 people, it showed that 8% of  those who partook in pornographic material for more then 11 hours per week, (Grubb, 2015), had experienced a negative response emotionally or psychologically. Even those who where not considered to have an addictive behavior, reported it as problematic to thier overall emotions and psychological behavior. However, those who had a higher sexual compulsivity as well as engaging in pornography as an addiction, showed that only 18% and 28% had no interference or life threatening issues due to their addictive behavior (Levin, 2012). Therefore one can simply conclude that it is not just due to an addiction, but if one feels it is causing difficulties interpersonally, vocationally, or personally.

This addictive behavior towards pornographic material is associated with the act of ‘experiential avoidance’. Experiential avoidance is a result of a compulsive response and behavior, it comes into play when one is trying to avoid or reduce difficult emotions. It can be done through many forms, such as the use of drugs, hair pulling, or participating in self-harm. Many have studied this and in the studies associated with pornography usage have argued that it is a result of experiential avoidance.

The issue here is, that by partaking in this response more psychological problems may occur. In a study done by Abramowitz, Tolin and Street in 2001 it was found that experiential avoidance many times increases the regularity and depth of the emotion or experience that is trying to be avoided! This causes amplification of the avoidance and in doing so limits and narrows one’s life (Levin, 2012). In light of this with a connection to frequent pornography use, which is mainly used to avoid stress, only in the end causes more.

In a study done by Levin and his associates in 2012, his findings were that addictive behavior with pornography is highly connected with mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, stress, and poorer social functioning behaviors. Joshua Grubbs and his associates did a similar study in which they found a connection with psychological distress and mental health, which is supported by research done previously with hyper sexuality. These two studies have done a very throe and precise analysis of the issues surrounding pornographic material in young men.

As one approaches this topic from a Christian perspective they must be careful. In a world that is so indorsing and accepting with a topic such as pornography one must come to this with respect, lenience, and guidance. The material used for this paper was extremely enlightening not only to one from a Christian worldview but also in general.

For many males this is clearly an issue and struggle, and for Christian males especially it is a huge temptation. However the evidence provided from the source material brings clarity to what God had already placed in scripture. As addressed in the articles, the issues and problems produced with experiential avoidance are so clear. Many approach pornography as a copping mechanism for hard emotions, or stress. However, as addressed before, this action can actually bring about more pain emotionally and psychologically. This is echoed in scripture with passages such as; 1 Corinthians 6:18, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 and Matthew 5:28. These verses echo that God knows the harmful result that things like pornography can and will cause.

It not only shows this but it reveals that from the beginning God knew the harm humankind could, would and is inflicting on themselves. God’s grace is reflective through this. The fact that every word penned in scripture was done so for a specific reason; that being a desire for the Lord God and in a result a casting away and shedding of a worldly sinful life.

Through the analysis in this paper one can clearly see the harmful results pornography has on an individual’s emotions and psychological behaviors. From a Christian standpoint and evaluation, it is seen that this evidence is a reflection of what scripture has already stated. God’s grace is revealed through His words and actions. Specifically to this subject, He has set in place a motion so that the harmful acts of sexual sin would be obverted. This paper has presented the facts of how and showed why pornographic material is harmful to the human individual.  

References

Nelson, L. J., Padilla-Walker, L. M., & Carroll, J. S. (2010). “I believe it is wrong but I still do it”: A comparison of religious young men who do versus do not use pornography. Psychology Of Religion And Spirituality, 2(3), 136-147. doi:10.1037/a0019127

Grubbs, J., Volk, F., Exline, J., & Pargament, K. (2015). Internet Pornography Use: Perceived Addiction, Psychological Distress, and the Validation of a Brief Measure. Sex & Matiral Therapy, 84-106. Retrieved March 31, 2015

Levin, M., Lillis, J., & Hayes, S. (2012). When is Online Pornography Viewing Problematic Among College Males? Examining the Moderating Role of Experiential Avoidance. Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 169-180. Retrieved March 31, 2015, from PsycArticles.

The False Platform 9 3/4

For most of us, if not all, there is a wall in our lives. This wall has always been there, over course for many of us it takes a while to realise it is there. Once we realise that this wall is a part of our life, or rather a barrier that remains in our life, we begin to run into it. In this we have the hope that some how the wall will fall down, we will be able to brake through it, or in some cases we hope it is like platform 9 3/4 in Harry Potter and we will be able to run through it.
However, after many attempts at running through this wall, I find that we begin to grow tired, we conclude that this wall will most likely never cease its existence in our lives. In this mind set we sit down, many of which I believe have their arms crossed and their lips pursed in anger.
But here's the thing, about a week ago I found myself once again in front of this wall. For the first time I did not want to a) run into the wall hoping to come out on the other side, or b) sit down and accept the fact that it is never going to leave and I will just let it continue to block my life. In short, I had begun to become tired of being tired of this wall.
As I stood there, facing this wall, neither running into it fists flying, nor sitting in front of it arms crossed, I began to hear one single word... TRUST. For the following days all I heard while I went about life, mentally standing in front of this wall was TRUST.
Trust is an interesting thing. In reality it is a simple little word, many a time I find myself pronouncing a word in my head and thinking how silly it is that we put sounds and the shaping of out mouth to ideas and concepts. But that is beside the point.
Trust is something that can be earned, lost, or given freely. It can strengthen people, build people, brake people, and cause them to curl up and never open up again. But yet it is sometimes, with some people, in certain places, situations and circumstances, the easiest thing to do.
Trust is a common thing for many of us in faith. It is if not one of the most important aspect of following Christ. Without trust in God and His guidance following Him is useless. And yet Trusting God is the hardest thing we Christians struggle with. Yes I am sure there are many things Christians struggle with, but in reality are these not the effects or outcomes of not trust God? Does it not begin with trusting Him?
We want to be in control, we want to hold the steering wheels, we want to shift the gears, and most of all we want to control the gas pedal to maintain a speed of our choosing. The fact is we are unable to be in control. We are like little kids without their license, we love the idea of driving, we dream about it and one day hope to ourselves. But the moments we do get behind the wheel we don't know what to do, we either freeze up or press the gas to fast and run into a tree or something. But God is experienced, He has been "driving" with people for years, more then we ever could! It takes courage, don't get me wrong, and a lot of push to let Him in and drive, but it all starts with trust.
Now you might want to yell at me and hit me by this point and scream "IT'S NOT THAT EASY NATHAN!" and my reply would basically be "I agree!" Why? Well coinciding I am a human just like you are, I completely understand, I struggle to! Wow crazy right!
Letting Him guide is the most important thing in our relationship and walk with Him, but it is also the hardest thing. Do I have a quick solution to putting your trust in Him? Nope! I am simply saying that you and I have one thing in common, we are both lost, we both have no clue where to go or what to do. And we both have this annoying wall in front of us! So whatever point your at, whether your running into the wall hoping to get through it, whether your sitting in front of it, or standing in surrender to letting Him take control and guide you. Just know that you and I are in the same place, that we are the same in that sense, and in reality that we are just like every other person on this planet.
So I have one last thing to say, Trust Him, whatever that means. Whether it means taking 5 minutes or 5 hours out of your day to spend time with Him, talk to Him, let Him in, get to know how He works with you! But never ever just sit there, or try yourself to get through this because it wont work... trust me, it wont.
Where has your wall brought you? 

Stephen Fry and the "HOW DARE US"

As I skimmed through my Facebook wall this article/video came up. I took the 2:25 to watch it... and when I finished I felt like crying. To be honest my first reaction was anger... now hear me out on why. Was I angry at Stephen Fry himself? NOT AT ALL! I have no right to be angry at Stephen Fry, that is not my place. But rather I was angry at the person/pastor/child of God, who so miss lead Stephen into thinking that God brought the horrible result of sin into this world.
God created a world of love and creation that was proclaimed "GOOD"... He created man in His image as the rulers of this earth to bring His glory to all. Did He create and proclaim ANYTHING "bad, evil, cruel, selfish" if He did show me the scripture, because it doesn't in the Bible I have been reading. HOWEVER it does say this:That man and woman put themselves before God, and as a result committed the first sin, wanting to RULER LIKE GOD, and NOT FOR GOD. So was it God who brought the result of pain, selfish desire, evil, and an unjust nature into this world? or rather was it a result of the idolatry of Adam and Eve?
And so in response to Stephen Fry saying "How dare you God" I would say to him rather "How dare us!" I am filled with sadness that Stephen and so many others are miss led by the lie that God is a cruel, revengeful, self seeking, man in the sky who is out there to get you.
When looking in scripture I see a God who cares, loves, seeks and puts His people and children first.

Surrender and Sacrifice upon the Alter

"Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." 
-James 4:7 

It's all about me right? well if your reading this, it's not about me, but rather about you, right? You are your own individual, therefore you make your own choices, decisions, life changing moments, where you go, who you live with (depending), what you want to be. Or do you really?
Looking back on this year (summer 2013-summer 2014) God has really worked on surrender and sacrifice. Although more emphasized this month then most, overall that's what this year has been about. Surrender and sacrifice of ones life to God is probably the hardest, yet most rewarding thing of life.
To give up all is to be given the gift that never stops. Giving up your life, your choices, your decisions, your future to Christ will not be easy.... it took me 5 years. But the moment He takes the control, the wheel, the rudder, He steers you through the rough water to freedom. He calms the storm.

Many have said the Peace in Christ is that He does not take the suffering and pain of life away, but rather holds our hand through it and walks with us through it. Through the valley He is along side of us (Ps.23).
God must be the center to have true peace, not a part to have partial satisfaction.

The Joy of Lost Rememberance

   Sitting here it's interesting, watching people walk by not even knowing what was done 1000 years ago on these five following days. I was listening to a sermon this morning, the Pastor was preaching from Judges and the passage said that all the generations that were alive during the freedom of Egypt had past away. The new generation had no clue about God and what He had done for them. The Pastor said "Sounds a little bit like today, doesn't it?"
   I am shocked how many people I have run into that have no clue who the Jesus is, what the Bible is and think that Christians simply believe is some dude with a long white beard sitting in the clouds! Yet it means so much more. Easter should not be a once a year celebration, but be an acceleration of excitement throughout the year... however do to the lack of education about it, even within churches, it is simply just another holiday you get chocolate one and sometimes presents.
My dad has been doing a sermon series this month that is not the common series. For example, last week we did not spend Sunday celebrating palm Sunday, now we did not forget it and say it is "irrelevant and applicable in today's modern culture and society", that is not the reason at all! Rather we celebrated and remembered Palm Sunday about three weeks ago. My dad has seen the importance Easter is, and how we should put more attention and give it more credit then is has had in the past. My dad, as well as I have seen that along with our culture, Christians have put more attention and excitement into Christmas then Easter.
   Now don't get me wrong, Christmas is important, seeing as it is the coming of Christ, however, it is the prologue to the story of Christs death. His resurrection is the last page, and his ascension is the epilogue. You see we have lost our excitement for THE MOST IMPORTANT EVENT OF THE YEAR!
Live in freedom knowing that you are free of the burdens of life. Live in respect knowing what He did for you. Live in constant remembrance of the joy He has given.  

Shaking the Chains

It weighs you down like nothing else. Day after day you can feel it beating down. Driving your face into the dirt, muffling your breath against the ground. Until you can't take it anymore, until it gets to be so much your stuck.
I will admit this was me... stuck in a world were every day was a challenge, a fight to be lost. Getting up and being punched back down in the ring. These last 3 days I could feel all the pressure from it, all jam packed, like cloths in a not big enough suitcase. It drove me to the ground, flinging me against it. I came to a point were I couldn't go on. A slave to my own demons, I had served them night and day... sometimes being released from there grasp for a time, but never from their sight. This was my life... wanting to be free of the chains, but holding onto them because they were the only thing I knew.
Last night was a night like no other, hard, rough... the shadows had consumed me I will admit. I had lost my way, straying from the light that warmed my face, to the cold dark pit I had let them dig and through me into. Who was I? Where was I? What was I? They began to mock me, laugh in my face... and I lay there, defeated, believing the lies and words they hurled at me. To them I was a rag doll to be thrown around.
This morning I woke, eyes opened to the new world that was tomorrow, but something was different. A voice began to speak to me... "No more" it repeated over and over again... "No more"... I heard the running of those demands feet... I had heard their approach many a time, every night they came to me, every morning they awoke me with their laughter... but this sound made by them was different, this sound was one that faded into the distance... the sound of running away... like the cowards they truly were.
The voice began to become louder... "NO MORE!"... like a fog horn guiding a lost ship to shore, it called me to the light again... I felt it's warm rays hit my face like fire, its hot air flow through my body, giving my lungs the oxygen they needed to produce blood.
I looked around me and something was different, my hands no longer gripped the chains... but rather were around something different, something softer, something warmer... something much much much more greater.

Although this might sound like a story... it is not, it is the only way I can describe to you what happened to me this week. This week I felt the presence of something not of this world, something I fully believe to be a spiritual war fighting for me... You might read those words and think "great, another religious nut.." But, that's not what I am... bet you have heard that before ;)... but just hear me out, please continue reading, because what I have to say is very important.
 Ever since I was a Christian I believed that God could fill people with His spirit, we read that in Acts chapter 2... if you don't believe me, pick up your, or a Bible and turn to it and read it yourself. But that is not what I am trying to prove here, so I will continue. So I always believed, ever since He approached me that one Thursday at Camp Cherith on the CILT town benches, that He could fill people with His spirit, instill in them a fire that never goes out. This I believe because every true Christ One has it, however sometimes this fire dies down, it is still there, but God continues to feed it... we just need to let Him.
Now for me, this fire was dieing slowly... letting as I will put it for now "my Demons" take my mind of letting Him feed it. This happened over a span of 8 years... two years after opening myself to these demons I realised what I had done, for the next 6 years I would try and try and pray and pray to be free of them... but for the next 6 years I would continue to fall under there rule.
This Summer however God revealed something to me, He told me "Nathan, this year will be one of the hardest, but greatest years for your life, spiritually and socially!" I heard Him say this, and went into this year not knowing what He was going to do.
Since the beginning of September He has shaken the very foundations of my beliefs, thoughts, and faith... if you want proof read all my other posts, they will show you my thoughts throughout these past 6-7 months.
But today was by far the most shaking... He showed this to me...
That He is instilling a spirit of freedom and revelation in the generation that walks the earth now, that He will fill the hearts of all and we under the name and through the power of Christ will shake the world.
I am tired of seeing and partaking in the running to our demons that keep a hold on us.. and so starting today I will seek Christ ONLY! I will pray that He and He alone will be my desire, as well for you!
So know that you, I don't know who you are, but you who reads this, are not alone, I am here for you, I am praying for you!
HE CAN, HAS, WILL, AND IS FREEING/FREED YOU! THAT IS THE WHAT THE CROSS IS, WAS, AND WILL FOREVER BE! A SYMBOL OF OUR FREEDOM FROM THE CHAINS OF SIN!

in prayerful love,
-Nathan

The Ripped Curtain

Sometimes we just find our self in a pit... in that deep dark hole we all know so well by this time. It's a frequent place, it seems like it was built just for us, a prison with the bars of black despair. We fall into it what seems like daily, we feel lost, forgotten, ugly, and unwanted.
I'll admit it is a frequent place for me as well... and most times it seems like I have just left for to go to the visiting room and return after only a short time. But I realised something about that place... I saw it from a different light, I cocked my head and saw it from all the other angles, and those concrete walls and black metal bars faded away, and were replaced by a thin little curtain.. a veil... riddled with holes, tattered and ripped straight down the middle.

"At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split" -Matthew 27:51 

God opened my eyes... that that "wall" between us and Him, isn't a wall at all, its a little thin, old, tattered curtain that was ripped by Christ 100s of years ago! That every time I am thrown into that cell of sorrow, and self pity, and sin... I can get up and walk out, and follow Him away from it and never return! 

"Suddenly an angel of the Lord appeared and a light shone in the cell. He struck Peter on the side and woke him up. "Quick, get up!" he said, and the chains fell off Peter's wrists." - Acts 12:7 






The minute we spoke for His spirit to intercede and help us, with all our heart, our chains fell off. The weight is lifted, because we are given the realisation that we have been reborn. Satan scared us and defines us with the past, God shows us the truth of who we are and to become! Our past self that Satan reminds us of is dead, and we are reborn in Christ, through the cross! 

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" 
- 2 Corinthians 5:17

That barrier between you and God is nothing, it has already been taken away, that hole isn't as deep as you thought it was, those bars are rusting steel, brittle and weak! You are made new in Him and nothing can come in between you and Him. Life will be hard, don't get me wrong, troubles and storms will come! God is is not a magic genie, the cross is not the bottle you rub for your 3 wishes, rather he is the friend who walks with you, in understanding! 

"But that's not all. We also brag when we are suffering. We know that suffering creates endurance, endurance creates character, and character creates confidence" - Romans 5:3-4

"For I am certain that nothing can separate us from his love: neither death nor life, neither angels nor other heavenly rulers or powers, neither the present nor the future, neither the world above nor the world below—there is nothing in all creation that will ever be able to separate us from the love of God which is ours through Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:38-39 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE, YOU ARE MADE FREE, LET HIM SHOW YOU THE WAY!